A Guide to Sympathy Plants

When someone experiences a loss, it’s easy to feel helpless. You want to show loved ones you care in simple, subtle ways. But how? Sending a sympathy plant is a timeless solution.

Plants are a classic choice for commemorating significant changes, as they have intrinsic ties to both life and death. Strong-smelling flowers earned their place at funerals in the days before embalming, blocking unpleasant smells when people came to mourn. While there’s less need for fragrance at funerals today, plants remain a symbol of support and nurturing.  

Why send sympathy plants?

Sympathy plants have many positive attributes. Here are five of the best reasons plants make ideal sympathy gifts.

1. They are long lasting.

Sympathy plants offer a gentle way to show support without overwhelming the recipient. With the gift of a small plant, the mourner doesn’t have to freeze a meal, hang artwork, or visit a store to spend a gift card.

2. They are long lasting.

Most flower arrangements last 1 to 2 weeks if properly cared for, but the right potted plant can liven up a room for years.

3. They symbolize life.

Cut flowers wilt, which can remind the recipient of the mourning process. A thriving potted plant, in contrast, symbolizes life and fresh starts — honoring the memory of the loved one that’s passed on.  

4. They provide something to care for.

Grief leaves people detached from their regular routines. Research shows that caring for plants reduces stress, which means a sympathy plant may offer a welcome distraction.  

5. They show support from far away.

As living things, plants can connect people. Gifting a plant can act as a substitute for your presence when the distance feels insurmountable.

When should I send sympathy plants?

There’s no rule for when to send sympathy plants. Consider gifting them after a job loss, the loss of a pet, a worrisome diagnosis, or a funeral. But, really, no occasion is too small. Who says you can’t gift a sympathy plant at the end of a romantic relationship (though, admittedly, maybe not your own), after an excruciating sports loss, or even to commemorate the bittersweet end of a beloved TV show?

Another consideration is timing. Grieving people often receive a flood of flowers in the weeks after a tragedy, and a plant might get lost in the shuffle. It may be best to wait a few weeks after offering your condolences before sending a sympathy plant.

Finally, sympathy plants don’t need to be a one-time gift. Anniversaries of losses offer another ideal opportunity to show you care. Don’t worry that the mourner might not want to remember the date of a loved one’s death — it’s more likely that it’s already on their mind. They will appreciate knowing you remember and care.

How to choose the best sympathy plants

With so many options out there, selecting the best sympathy plant can be hard. Let’s answer a few questions to attempt to make the decision easier.  

Indoors or outdoors?

Think where your giftee might prefer to keep their plant. Their sprawling outdoor garden? A covered balcony? The kitchen counter? The level of outdoor exposure should be a factor.

Large or small?

Some people adore massive birds of paradise that take up half their living room. Others can barely surrender the counter space for a succulent. Consider space considerations, along with the plant’s growth rate, to choose the best fit. And if you’re conflicted, keep in mind that smaller is generally safer.

Low or high maintenance?

Some people prefer the satisfaction that comes from tending to a temperamental plant; others will resent you for adding stress to their lives when it inevitably turns brown from neglect. Match the maintenance level to the recipient for the best chance of success.

Are toxins a concern?

Many otherwise beautiful sympathy plants can be poisonous when eaten. That can be a problem in households with small kids and pets. Consider avoiding peace lilies, philodendrons, pothos, arrowheads, and snake plants if ingestion is a concern.

What are the best indoor sympathy plants?

What are the best outdoor sympathy plants?